


An Adoring Heart

by summerstorm



Category: Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - Ann Brashares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-25
Updated: 2008-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-25 02:52:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1627712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerstorm/pseuds/summerstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lena hangs up, and the first thing she does is call Tibby over, because they're both living in Brooklyn now and she's closer than anyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Adoring Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to moriann for the beta.
> 
> Written for present_pathos

 

 

Effie kisses Kostos once.

It's a short story: it's sister jealousy and the kind of things that Effie hasn't overcome yet, even though she's twenty-two and about to start grad school. She's working on it, though. Kissing Kostos is a part of working on it, really, because she doesn't like it, and he smiles at her like she's the child he met so many years ago and hugs her and—and it helps. 

She's like her sister, sometimes, prefers to be hugged and accepted when she can, rather than be told to her face that she's not good enough. So Kostos hugs her, and she cries for the two of them.

It was a terrible thing, when Lena broke up with him. After everything—after the marriage and the fake baby and the divorce and her rejecting him and then finally taking him back again—the love never recovered. 

Effie thought Lena was crazy, to let him go like that. It wasn't that long ago. Effie was already in college. She still thinks Lena was crazy to let him go like that, on that practical level where you don't think much about anything and just feel that something was a wrong idea.

Effie has more than practical or emotional levels now, though. Effie knows that Lena has been trying to find herself for too long, and Effie knows that Lena was painfully sure about her decision just as well as she knows that kissing Kostos is a mistake brought on by alcohol and wanting to show him that he's not missing anything at all.

But he doesn't want another Lena. Effie isn't another Lena, anyway. It's a pointless kiss. The hug is... the hug is wonderful.

She would tell Lena, and she does. She calls her and says,

"I kissed Kostos." She can hear Lena's squeak of surprise and—and outrage, if Effie knows Lena well enough, and she thinks she does.

"What? Are you crazy?" Lena says.

"He's okay," Effie says, before Lena can go on with her questioning. That wasn't the point of anything, anyway. "I just wanted to tell you that. He's not going to pursue you or anything. He's okay. I think he has a girlfriend or something. It was kind of muffled when he told me."

"Muffled?" Lena asks, and Effie can imagine her raising an eyebrow.

"He was hugging me, God, Lena, I'm not like that. Well, maybe I kind of am. But he's not."

"Is that why you're calling? To tell me he's fine?"

"Yeah," Effie says, shrugging. "I thought you'd like to know."

Lena chuckles on the other line. That's how she tells you she's smiling on the phone. Then you say something else, and she says thanks. Like,

"Valia's gone off dancing with her friends. I can't believe she still has the energy to dance."

"Thanks," Lena says quietly.

*

Lena hangs up, and the first thing she does is call Tibby over, because they're both living in Brooklyn now and she's closer than anyone else. A few blocks. She thinks of calling on her—visiting directly—but Tibby works at all sorts of times and she might not be there, and Lena doesn't feel like taking a walk. She feels content. She wants to lie down on her bed and call Tibby and wait for her to get to her apartment and let herself in and lie down with her.

She likes it when Tibby holds her hand, because she feels like all of her positive energy goes through her fingers and into Tibby's, as silly as it sounds, and Tibby's a little less hard, a little less rough around the edges, a little more willing to smile.

Lena likes that.

Tibby arrives in three songs, Lena counts. She sketches her cat in the meanwhile, the way she stretches out on the rug like she's exhausted. She might be. It's almost midnight, the middle of December. It's been dark for a few hours now, and Lena's keeping the light down at the moment. She likes lying down on the bed with just her bedside lamp on, covered by translucent fabric. It's Christmassy, she thinks, and she likes that feeling too.

When she hears the keys, Lena scootches over towards the part of her bed that's right next to the wall, and leaves her notepad on the night table. Tibby comes right in quickly, letting her bag fall near the bedroom door, and plops herself down on the bed.

"Hey," she says as she lies down on the pillow. She doesn't even look at Lena, just—at the ceiling, because it's closer. "I ran into Vanessa Abrams earlier. Fucking bitch. I can't believe she's using my idea for the contest." Lena chuckles a bit, and her hand slides down to take Tibby's, like it's meant to be there. Like everything else.

"You haven't told me about any contests," Lena points out.

"I'm not entering this one. It's for that class I decided not to sign up for."

"Ah."

"Well, I was busy. I am busy. And thank God, because I don't think I could deal with seeing that girl anymore than I already do."

Lena turns to Tibby, then, and Tibby turns her head towards her, too, with a frown. 

"Is something wrong?"

Lena smiles softly. Tibby shifts away a little.

"What happened?" she says, very seriously.

"Nothing," Lena says. "My sister called. Said Kostos is okay."

"Oh," Tibby says. Fiona meows. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Lena says.

Fiona wanders off out of the room, and Lena feels a bit more comfortable. She loves her cat, she does, Effie gave it to her to keep her company, hence the name, but she doesn't feel entirely alone like other people do around their pets. There's always that sort of... presence, there.

It's different with Tibby. 

The CD shuffles to an instrumental piece now, something someone composed for a short movie Tibby directed in her second year of college. It's one of Lena's favorite things, really, amongst what Tibby has done. It's fictional but it's so real that it makes Lena's skin crawl. It's a conversation between two friends about—different things, it jumps from one thing to another, all sorts of things—and the writing is brilliant and the actors pull it off completely, and then there's that lovely song playing in the background.

And there's a piece of Lena's featured prominently on the wall, which feels like a little snippet of their friendship. 

Well, Lena's a bit corny, but it helps when you live in New York and design furniture for a living. She likes it, she does, but it's hard when all you want to do is paint all the time. Lately she's been having more exhibitions, though, and Tibby keeps featuring her stuff when she directs episodes of TV shows, which helps a little, too; and Carmen had a bunch of paintings of Lena's printed into t-shirts that she wears to random charity fundraisers when she does stuff in Broadway. It's pretty cool.

At some point, Lena falls asleep.

*

At some point, Tibby wakes up to see Lena's limbs all over her. Lena moves around a lot in her sleep, and usually ends up sticking her elbow painfully into Tibby's ribs. This is definitely an improvement.

Lena's alarm clock says it's three in the morning. Tibby doesn't have to work till five in the afternoon. It's an odd schedule, but it goes well with her. She never sleeps the same hours.

She slips out of the bed and tries to pull the comforter out from under Lena, but it's impossible without waking her up, and she seems all right, so Tibby grabs her cellphone from her bag and goes to the living room to clear her head a bit.

These past few months, living so close to Lena, sleeping with her most nights—they've been odd, to say the least. Tibby always thought Lena was beautiful, but now, after she broke up with Kostos, after the whole thing with Brian and that girl from Columbia, well, they've been pillars for each other.

She dials Bee's number. Bee's at home already, taking a well-deserved break from digging stuff in Italy. She travels a lot, that Bee, and they mostly communicate through e-mails because of that.

"Tibby?" Bee asks, sounding sleepy. "It's three in the morning."

"I have... Lena stuff to talk about."

"Oh God," Bee whispers, groaning. "Why don't you just kiss her already?"

"I... might," she says, very softly.

"Really?" Bee says with as much as excitement as she can muster in her drowsy state.

"She seems really content today," Tibby says. "Apparently Kostos has gotten over her or something."

"She must be relieved," Bee points out.

"I guess."

"Tibby, I don't have any advice for you. I'm here to listen, but... Are you at Lena's?" Tibby doesn't have to answer. "Just go back to bed. Tackle this in the morning."

"Okay," Tibby says.

And Tibby goes back to Lena's bedroom, turns off the music, and sits down on the bed.

*

Lena wakes up when she feels Tibby's weight on the mattress. She didn't realize that Tibby had left.

"Hey," Lena says, blinking a little. "Where did you go?"

"Bathroom," Tibby says easily. 

Lena looks up at her. Usually, Tibby smiles and turns off the light, lies down, holds her hand, lets Lena snuggle as much as she wants to under the pretense of being asleep. Lena appreciates that.

Tibby keeps looking at her, this time.

"Tibby," Lena whispers, and she's so close to Tibby's face that she can feel her exhaling and inhaling, a little more erratically than a second ago. She can feel Tibby's pulse speed up under her thumb, on Tibby's wrist. It's new, and it's not how everything goes. It's special.

Tibby squeezes her hand a bit, and Lena feels much more aware, all of a sudden. Their foreheads meet, and Tibby smiles, and Lena can't help but smile too, because this has been a long time coming. She can see Tibby with the soft light from the Christmas lights outside, and Lena reaches out to touch her face.

And now they're close enough to kiss, Lena thinks, and doesn't wait for Tibby—instead, she simply catches Tibby's lower lip between her own, and feels relief making its way through Tibby's body. Tibby's not stiff anymore; Tibby's leaning into her with something that feels almost like desperation, and Lena can kiss back—she can—she does.

*

Tibby pushes Lena further. Maybe the illusion will break, but this is the point towards which she thinks they've been slowly walking for months, for years even, since Lena finished college and moved into the city.

Lena's mouth tastes a bit like stale coffee, but she doesn't mind. Lena shivers when Tibby unbuttons her pajama, but she doesn't seem to mind, either. Lena doesn't wear a shirt underneath, she never has, and she usually takes off her pajamas in the middle of the night and changes in front of Tibby.

Tibby never thought of pushing their friendship that far, but this is different. This is—she can touch.

"Lena, God," she whispers, sliding the pajama shirt off, and Lena stares at her open-mouthed for a second when Tibby's mouth moves away to her neck. Tibby has to do it. She would kiss Lena much, much more, but they have time for that. Tibby needs to do this first. 

It's been too many nights in Lena's bed not to.

Lena lets herself be laid on her back, lets Tibby run her tongue down her collarbone, capture a hardened nipple in her mouth. Lets Tibby run her hands down her sides, pull her ass up to take her pajama bottoms off along with her underwear.

Or maybe she encourages Tibby to do all those things. Lena's almost silent, her breathing hitching now and then when Tibby caresses the inside of her thighs, when she licks her clit, when she slides two fingers into her.

Making Lena come is the closest thing to a dream coming true. It's seeing Lena let down her guard, moan loudly, even blaspheme.

Tibby wants to tell Lena how much she loves her, but it's sappy, and anyway, she already knows. Lena might not even process it, drowsy as she seems to be.

So she kisses her instead, slowly, thoroughly—once, for now, and many times afterwards. 

 


End file.
